Have you ever been in a situation where someone was being rude or reacted aggressively towards you and you just wished you knew how to talk back in German?! You know… that perfect German comment on the tip of your tongue?
Some expats have found themselves in situations where they felt intimidated or insecure and didn’t know how to respond in German.
Especially in COVID times, some folks seem to be even more on the edge lately. And as much as we, here at Life in Düsseldorf, can try and shower you with the most beautiful flower spots in the city or amazing ways to get you out in nature… let’s be honest… it hasn’t all been rainbows and butterflies lately, has it?
And since we all really haven’t been around many people or socializing much, it only seems to be the new norm – but does it really have to be this way?
Germans can naturally come across as quite blunt and direct and make sure to tell you if you did something wrong. They also have a knack for complaining (here’s a video about 8 hilarious things Germans love to complain about). While that may be helpful in the business world to get things done quickly, it can seem aggressive to foreigners in everyday situations.
When German isn’t your mother tongue and you just don’t speak German well enough it can be a challenge to find the right words to react quickly and effectively.
However, every situation is unique, and it’s always best to “kill them with kindness”. Especially if you are unsure whether you actually did do something wrong… it is best to soften the counter tone and comment kindly with a simple „Entschuldigung“ or „bitte“.
To start or react with a soft „Entschuldigen Sie bitte“ goes a long way in the German culture, especially with the elderly. It doesn’t mean that you actually apologize and commit you have been wrong – it’s widely used as a friendly form to address and de-escalate a situation.
And don’t forget: It always depends HOW you say it 😉
So here are a few tips, wordings, sentences, and scenarios that might help you in the future. Please note: These are wordings that some of my German friends use and by no means have to be said in that exact way 😉
How to Talk Back in German | Scenario 1:
If someone is being rude or offensive and you don’t know what the issue is or if you did something wrong
[table id=6 responsive=flip responsive_breakpoint=”phone” /]
*Note: The bold words are used in German to soften the tone. Green are softer versions, orange can possibly trigger an argument or worsen the encounter
How to Talk Back in German | Scenario 2:
If someone is very aggressive towards you for absolutely no reason
[table id=7 responsive=flip responsive_breakpoint=”phone” /]
*Note: The bold words are used in German to soften the tone. Green are softer versions, orange can possibly trigger an argument or worsen the encounter, red is really looking for an escalation
How to Talk Back in German | Scenario 3:
If you just want to end the discussion or rude commenting
[table id=8 responsive=flip responsive_breakpoint=”phone” /]
*Note: The bold words are used in German to soften the tone.
Please note that by no means is this article supposed to be a guide to trigger arguments. It’s always best to be kind no matter what and listen to the other person!
