I want to start off by saying… you’re not alone. It’s not always easy to talk about your problems or your reverse culture shock to people back at home or people that you are slowly becoming acquainted with. So naturally, it’s easy to feel a little isolated, your mind wanders and you start to develop self-doubt.
It took weeks, if not months, to find a fraction of the hope that made me believe I will fit in Germany.
Hey, I’m Rina Huisinkveld, a new writer for Life in Düsseldorf. I was born in South Korea (Seoul) and raised in Australia, I married a German guy with a Dutch surname, and we moved to Germany during the pandemic all while the housing market was at an all-time high.
We try to live by “where there is a will, there is a way” or so we thought- ha…ha…ha.
We came to Germany with the expectation that it would only take a few weeks to settle, then quickly realized that it was quite the opposite. How about you?
[box] Feeling stuck? The owner of Life in Düsseldorf, Jenna Davis, has built up an entire Welcome Program that will help you settle into your new life in Germany quickly and seamlessly. Within the Welcome Program, you also have the opportunity to jump in on a one-on-one call with Jenna to build your dream plans here in Germany.[/box]
Ever experienced reversed culture shock?
Picture this: You have taken days, if not weeks, to learn to walk on the “right” side of the street, refrain from using certain words, enter a room in a particular manner and or perhaps present yourself “appropriately” within the country you are residing in.
You’ve finally adjusted and acknowledged this place as your second home…
The long-awaited trip back home comes around…
The anticipation and ability to reunite with your loved ones…
The feeling of being able to just pop yourself back on auto-pilot. No more over-thinking or worrying about every little detail on how to present yourself as a foreigner in a foreign country…
When we immigrate, all of our energy gets invested into adjusting and fitting into this new culture, we naturally and unknowingly forget about a few things that we take for granted at home. However, the flip side is that we also forget how much we have evolved when we return home.
Welcome to “reverse culture shock”.
What is Reverse Culture Shock?
Reverse culture shock, simply put, is where you experience things back home that become surprising to you now that you have lived abroad and have become exposed to new things.
Symptoms/Signs of Reverse Culture Shock
- Unexplained feelings of frustration and annoyance
- Confusion
- Feeling like you must constantly explain yourself
- Unable to contribute to group conversations
- Struggling to understand others and their “old ways”
- Wanting to change something to fit what you’ve become accustomed to then eventually giving up and thinking “eh, why bother”
Who Experiences Reverse Culture Shocks?
Everyone and anyone. It doesn’t discriminate.
The duration of your residency in another country doesn’t necessarily determine the severity of the reverse culture shock.
Why Do We Experience Reverse Culture Shock?
It’s simple. Differences and readjustments.
The greater the difference between your life abroad and your home life, the more likelihood your shock will increase. It is perhaps a bit less likely if you have frequently traveled and left home prior to making the big move.
How Can I Help Myself?
Find whatever works for you.
Not everyone has the time to spare an hour in the morning before work to deeply think about their being. It’s the little things that we develop as habits that enable us to have a fresh start and a strong finish to the day.
Here are some tips to help you feel like yourself again while you adjust to some big life changes like – moving to Düsseldorf:
- Turn off mobile notifications
- Declutter your phone, contacts, and pages you follow (think of it as spring cleaning)
- Keep track of a few things back at home, but try to relocate and settle in the city you are residing.
- Start a ritual. Perhaps a 10-minute Babbel lesson at the start of each day? Make it realistic.
- Create a social calendar. It is extremely daunting to make new connections in a new city. Find ways to connect with people with a common interest but don’t force it. It takes time, allow it.
- Grab a warm drink and walk, maybe listen to music, maybe daydream about what you could be and how you get there.
- Blank out. When is the last time you just sat there and watched outside and not at your screen?
- Help another person in need.
- Start the day off with one thing you are thankful for.
- Daily stretches.
- Try different kinds of foods. It is another way to connect to, understand, and appreciate the culture.
- Book your next getaway. Homesick? Plan the next trip back.
- If you are feeling extremely anxious and trapped and it is serious, seek professional help. That shows strength.
Have you ever heard of expat grief? It’s a natural expression that many of us feel when we’re new to a city/country. Here are 10 helpful ways to combat the grief and depression with deal with when moving abroad.
How Do I Support Someone Else Experiencing Culture Shock?
Be patient and listen.
Sometimes behind all the negativity/frustration, it boils down to them feeling uneasy because they don’t feel like they fit in.
- Let them talk, and listen without judgment.
- Ask open-ended questions.
- Tell them you are there to help but don’t over cater.
- Be a consistent and familiar face
How Organizations and Workplaces Can Support Their Employees
Incorporate programs that support your employees similar to what you have invested in helping with them with their move. This will result in trust, more security, and for them to become the brightest stars in their workplace.
Why encourage your employees to live abroad, acquire great skills, and then abandon them?
- Consider a buddy system to strengthen relationships in the workplace.
- Consider helping your employees bring along family and/or friends.
There are no one-size-fits-all solutions to manage reverse culture shock. However, it is important to acknowledge it. You might blame the jetlag, change in climate, and other external factors to ignore what is truly going on… but everyone’s way of dealing with change is different.
So just as you have learned to adjust to living in Germany (or anywhere around the world for that matter), you should also allow yourself to relearn and readjust when you go back to your old home. Just like when we pick up an old hobby or a skill that we’ve left behind for several years, the same goes for going back home.
Be kind to yourself, be forgiving, and remember that you have complete ownership of how you respond to yet another new situation.
